Some apartments with central hot water have a recirculation pump, so the water is almost always hot. My building has one. The water is always hot, but for some fucking reason the hot water is like right next to the cold water, but the cold water doesn’t have a pump, so the cold water pipes will get hot from the flowing hot water. Then when I turn on my shower the cold water will be just as hot as the hot water… for like a minute, making the entire thing fucking pointless because you still have to wait to get in. But I can burn myself on demand so I’ve got that going for me.

Try and stop me. I don’t even have windows installed anymore.

Fifth Element - Bruce Willis

The attempted mugging would be hilarious. The cookie monster screaming “gimme da cookies!” Miss Piggy as the supreme being.

Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? No, says the man on Wall Street; it belongs to the shareholders.

Filibuster everything. Literally everything that can be filibustered. See how fast we get rid of the filibuster.

Yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me