This does not address the issue of choosing the server though. This only works if the standard option for your server is reliable and rotated per registration.

That is gorgeous

I love this. Imagine the gnawing of teeth when Putin realizes the smaller country he attacked gets so much recognition from the new pope. He must be livid. I’m so happy about this.

Weird frog dude

Is it normal I still feel bad even though I’m trying to do good and redeem myself?

Yes it is. People hold on to regrets for a whole host of reasons. Some more understandable than others.

But being good is not a value. It doesn’t stay up or down and it doesn’t get “remedied” in the traditional way. The amount of caring for others you do is awesome.

And yet, not saying no is an extremely unhealthy habit. Everyone has boundaries, and other people don’t realize how things drain your energy if you don’t say no. If you’re not looking out for yourself, who is?

The things in your list, almost all of them are nice in theory, but in practice they can run you into the ground.

• battling your instincts and personality
• feeling very guilty about every little mistake
• doing odd jobs no matter the person or task or how much energy you have
• not saying no

Look at this list. This looks almost self-destructive. It’s a testament to you that you are able to survive considering all these habits, but this is way past noble.

Please say no if you feel you need to, never agree if you you really don’t want to, only do odd jobs if they are appropriate, extend some grace for all of your mistakes and never suppress your personality. These are selfish things, but you are the only one who can be selfish for you, so look out for yourself.

It’s good to reflect on things, but you are beating yourself down for it. That’s never appropriate, especially because people like you, who are self aware and want the best for others, are very much needed in this world.

Let’s say whatever you did that ended the marriage was bad, and they’d both be together if you didn’t do it.

You were 6. Even if you intended this, how the hell is a 6 year old gonna be able to grasp the consequences of their actions. People can do really bad things at any age, but at such a young age, most of the things that happen because of your actions are out of you hands.

Do other people blame you for it? Because that is fucked up. They should know better. You are already reflecting, but blaming literally never helps anyone. And that goes for yourself as well, don’t blame yourself, no matter what you did. You can take responsibility and try to repair the damage to the degree you can, but never blame yourself for not doing things that you are unable to do. Do your best, and that’s all you can do. Mistakes are par for the course.

Marriages are made of 2 people. You are not part of that marriage, even if you are part of the family. If your sole actions managed to split the marriage, that suggests so much else was going wrong. Did they trust each other enough? Why were they not able to handle whatever their child did? How come they didn’t make up again after whatever you did, or they didn’t at least try? See how many avenues those two have to fix it? But they didn’t. That’s not on anyone else, but them. A working marriage extends a truckload of trust, grace, and love to each other, and I suspect, even if your actions rocked the boat, that boat was a nut shell with fish sized holes in it. There’s no other way your actions could lead to this. Your actions might have been the match, but look at the barrels of gasoline that fueled the fire. At that point, there’s so many things that can destroy the marriage, because the marriage was very shakey in the first place.

Trying to think of the worst things you could have done to lead your parents to part, there’s nothing a 6 year can do that makes them responsible for it. Please don’t beat yourself down - the amount of self reflection you do leads me to think you are an awesome human being and people around you should be grateful for how much you care for them.

TL;DR There’s no way in hell you were or are responsible for what happened to your parents marriage, no matter what you did.

I’m confused. Who is “they”? Who is addressing whom in the quote?

You can do everything right that people taught you. But you only start living when you make mistakes, fuck up, and find the places where you belong, and a picture perfect life doesn’t bring you happiness; it’s rather shallow and lonely.

That paired with the realization that my mental disabilities will make me lonely for the rest of my life and there’s only so much I can do about it without having breakdowns.

Yeah this one stings but it needs to be brought up, so we can make this way easier.

There’s gotta be a way to design this so users can partly skip the process of searching for a good platform. Maybe using a controversial AI solution for recommending a platform based on some Keywords from the user? Maybe just based on a random algorithm for trusted servers? Maybe as you interact we make it easy to switch servers and as soon as you like the feed you can join?

There’s gotta be something better. I hope we get there.

If we get to the point where people can overcome the entry barrier, I think this will also increase user retention and the overall fediverse literacy on the platforms themselves.

Me.

Pretty sure it’s been a while since we found well preserved historical items from the second world war.

That’s what my estrogen dealer told me as well

Yeah that’s the main thing. They have elevated on the fuck around and find out scale to the point where they arguably made way for either China or the EU to be the new global leader in economy, science, etc.

THIS

Try to get this in writing, or document your day-to-day with this. Focus on the retaliation, the instances they tell you how you’re supposed to spend your money and maybe get coworkers to back you up and write that down.

The more clear evidence, the better. Lawyers love when you have a bunch of evidence in writing. Especially if it’s emails or similar directly from them that prove your case.

I mean he is a couch-o-phile, that’s for sure.

It’s still hitting me regularly that this pope is more reasonable than the US president.

The Catholic Church is more progressive than the US government.

No, I’m still not fully grasping it.

Pope Joan is now widely considered fictional, though the legend remains influential in cultural depictions.

So unfortunately probably not real. An interesting read though.

Madlad

That makes perfect sense.

For me the most annoying thing is that no one is pure evil, neither is he. So it’s hard to just blame him and and be done with it. Things are always complicated. A lot of the time there’s no one to blame. Because that doesn’t help. Not him, but also not yourself.

One thing though: you said there will always be a place in your heart for him and that you will always support him. Please make sure you prioritize yourself. Don’t give him too much of your time and energy. If you are a friend of him, he is a friend of yours. It’s real easy for people to invest everything just for some “what if”.

Someone needs to think of you and if it’s not him, it has to be yourself. Things will become normal, but until then someone needs to watch out for you.

Yes.

I always say the Internet is more vast than it is comprehensive. You will find infinite things. Infinite good things, but also infinite bad things, and infinite things on most topic.

But certain actors on there have an interest to highlight bad things. That makes it real easy to slip into a negative feedback loop. And there’s so much, you will into a bottomless hole.

And that’s when you always gotta peek your head over the horizon and look for things outside of your periphery. Because there’s more than problems.

Even if you look back at where we’ve come from, the amount of struggles we’ve overcome already as a society is hard to fathom.

My point is, either look for both negative and positive news accountings, or do neither and focus on a topic like games, or woodworking, or astronomy and just keep away from the sensational news pieces.

There’s more to life than news anyway.

I had such a hard time trying to start off on mastodon. Finding the right accounts to follow, getting some basic filtering, no recommendations, …

That was very difficult and uncomfortably unintuitive for me. And I am a software engineer.

I can only imagine what hell that might be for a “normie”.

I love the fediverse and all it’s platforms, including mastodon, Lemmy, pixelfed, matrix, etc. but we still have a long way to go for people to adopt them, especially if you make it hard to get started.

I personally think the issue was never the recommendations or “content milling”. It was that there was no way to change it or turn it off.

I think the best way to make it more appealing is to put in the basics of other centralized platform but show users that it’s a choice, every time.

Registration? Enable OAuth with Google etc., but show users all of the options.

Recommendations? Use open source algorithms. Or models. On first login enable it and ask them if they want it to stay enabled, changed, or disabled.

Privacy? Turn off telemetry but tell them on first login they are free to turn it on in the settings to help with development.

Donations? Just like in boost for Lemmy, this should be the bottom-most option in the settings. Dessalines deserves the support.

I think the issue was never that a platform is capable of all the things lots of people don’t like, the issue were the dark patterns of opt out and making things hard to disable. Choice is powerful when it’s truly free and transparent.