I had a one-night-stand on a cruise once that was fun but almost ruined when he took off his shirt and there was a cross necklace on his chest. Missionary was basically my vampire ass trying not to get burned by the cross.

If I see a bumper sticker that mentions jesus, I definitely assume that car is driven by the least christ-like person imaginable, and give them space.

I like the way you think but am horrified by your potential skunk-harvesting techniques.

I feel you. Losing Kanye sucked, but you put it perfectly, the magic is gone. I can’t lose myself in the music anymore.

That’s Wart, an absolute legend at one year old! They are constantly smooshing one another for the best window seats.

Here are my precious baby boys, Wart and Pablo. If everyone can wish them a happy birthday, they turn one year old tomorrow.