themeatbridge

“There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.”

My condolences. He died too soon.

Sure, but it’s also helpful to know that there aren’t labels for everything, nor do we need labels for everything. Really, the only person you need to communicate your preferences to is the person you prefer. In my (admittedly limited) experience, romantic partners don’t want to be reduced to a subset of their attractive physical features. “I like you” is generally sufficient, and it’s not really anybody else’s business what you like or don’t like. We’re conditioned to try to label ourselves, and I would argue that it is unhealthy reinforcing that conditioning by inventing new labels.

OP could describe themselves as bi or pan or omni, but none of those are the sum total of OP’s lived experience. We should describe ourselves, not define ourselves.

Labels exist to describe what is. You don’t need to fit neatly into a category. You like who you like, and you shouldn’t apologize for it.

Like for me, I’m attracted to the late Andre Braugher portraying the gay man Captain Holt on Brooklyn 99 when he’s pretending to be straight and describing his fictitious partner’s heavy breasts. Nothing sexier than that, but the brain trust at Oxford hasn’t come up with a word for that one yet.

Be direct and honest. “Hey, buddy, I want to hear what you have to say, but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now.” Kids learn from the example you provide, and expressing your feelings in a positive and honest way is how he’s going to learn to do the same.

I would also suggest you put that energy to good use. Kids enjoy feeling helpful and a part of the process. If he’s rambling on, you don’t need to send him away. He’s just excited to share with you. Maybe ask if he wants to color with you while you talk, or ask if he just wants to sit with you a while. Maybe he’ll get bored and run off to do something else, or he’ll sit with you and just enjoy the peaceful moments. Either way, it’s his decision to respect your boundary, creating a healthy relationship.

If, on the other hand, he doesn’t respect your boundary, eg you ask him for a moment and he just keeps talking over you, it’s not impolite to ask him to pay attention to your request and respond. You’re not his parent, so you’re not responsible for discipline or manners, but it’s helpful to a child if you explain to him how he’s making you feel. “It doesn’t seem like you heard me. I said I am feeling overwhelmed, and I need a few quiet minutes to myself. Can you respect that?”

Try to say that as calmly as possible. Don’t make it about him, but tell him directly what you expect him to do.

“No” is a complete sentence.

Using a human shield is abhorrent. Shooting the human shield is also bad.

Jaws permanently changed our dynamic with an entire species and the ocean in general, and with just two notes.

Remember, the fascists don’t declare fascism. They declare anti-fascism illegal.

I always ask, but some people feel greedy or selfish if they tell you what they want. Plus, it’s nice to have someone else think about you and your needs and desires, and then put some effort into providing that for you.

Like if I said, “I want fancy jewelry,” that would feel petty and bratty. If my friend gave me a gift and said “I found this, and I thought it would fit your style and look great on you,” that is going to make me feel good about receiving it and about our relationship.

It’s always OK to ask, but it’s not OK to insist they tell you. Demanding an answer is like saying, “I don’t care enough about you to learn and remember your preferences.”

That said, there are things I won’t buy my wife because her preferences are too mysterious. I’ll pick two seemingly identical handbags, same dimensions, material, color combinations, etc, and she will determine that one is gorgeous and the other is shit. It’s a running joke with us that I’m hopelessly obtuse when it comes to style, and she’s far too capricious in matters of taste to predict what she will like. She loves handbags, and I support her getting whatever purses and bags she likes when she sees them.

Likewise, she doesn’t buy me techie stuff or tools.

Regarding his disappointment, there are bigger and more complicated cubes. He can also be challenged to create patterns in the cube, like you mess up a cube and he has to match the randomness you created. That’s a fun way to keep practicing those cube skills without the monotony of solving the same puzzle over and over.

The Entmoot has decided to discuss opening talks to determine if discussions are necessary before taking action to begin negotiations.

And as a consequence of these findings, Russia has learned their lesson, we assume. Case closed, good job to us.

I agree RFK is a dangerous moron. But shouldn’t the takeaway be that we ought to clean up the sewage?

Weird how anytime we deprioritize profits under almost anything, it results in improved quality of life.

Expensive vaporware

When the fuck did “nasty” become a political insult?

Republicans telling on themselves again.

It is a bit insane, because the world is a bit insane right now, and frankly I think it’s your fault.

Well, not you specifically, and it’s not entirely your fault. But part of the reason tyranny and fascism have gripped power across the globe is that political discussion is considered impolite. It’s offensive to point out how absurd or dangerous a political policy is, so we just avoid the subject. Wouldn’t want to offend a conservative bigot by pointing out other people exist.

And because polite people avoid the subject, only extremists engage in the debate. Nuance is lost, and the crazies take charge of the nuthouse whilst “normal” people, like yourself, fret about people talking about the problem.

It would be fucking fantastic to look at a picture of the sky and not think of how air pollution is being deregulated, how Qatar is buying influence with the President by gifting him an airplane, how space is being monetized by a South African Nazi, or how we’re all likely to die of an airborne virus because the person in charge of coordinating our healthcare response has a brain that’s mostly worm poo.

It would be wonderful to stop talking about politics, but not talking about it has led us, inexorably, to this point. We have a duty to discuss ideas when they affect all of us. We have a responsibility to point out stupidity and ignorance and make conservatives feel ashamed of it. It’s not fun for us, either, but if we were to follow your lead, we will end up murdering children in death camps. Which is exactly where we are.

It really is tough to talk about anything else, and even when you do talk about it, it’s more of an exasperated sigh than a conversation.