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FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 day ago

Sabrina Carpenter Undergoes State-Mandated Lobotomy To Cure Nymphomania

theonion.com

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Sabrina Carpenter Undergoes State-Mandated Lobotomy To Cure Nymphomania

theonion.com

FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 day ago
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LOS ANGELES—Confirming that doctors had performed the procedure successfully, sources reported Friday that Sabrina Carpenter had undergone a state-mandated lobotomy to cure her medically diagnosed nymphomania. According to eyewitnesses, the 26-year-old artist arrived at a state mental hospital early this morning strapped to a gurney so that she could not act on her depraved sexual […]
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  • Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    But they just called my number! Dang

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    Why do people give this woman such a hard time for being sex positive? She’s cute, she’s funny, and she can sing, and yet all I read about is how she happens to love to fuck. gasp *clutches pearls*

    PS: I’m not a fan of her music. I just despise how women get ostracized for something many men are praised for.

    • Eyck_of_denesle@lemmy.zip
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      1 hour ago

      Behaves weirdly with minors.

    • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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      1 day ago

      Pretty sure this is making fun of conservatives freaking out about her, not of her directly.

      • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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        1 day ago

        I was referring to the BS commentary surrounding her, not the article specifically.

  • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Why are they teasing her? I don’t know who that is. Get off my lawn.

    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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      I didn’t see the controversy go by either. The pic on the album: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man’s_Best_Friend_(Sabrina_Carpenter_album)

      • Sundray@lemmus.org
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        1 day ago

        First “out” celebrity puppygirl?

      • VirgilMastercard@reddthat.com
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        1 day ago

        hot

      • Optional@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Smell The Glove

        • BodePlotHole@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          What’s wrong with bein’ sexy?

          • Optional@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            Get out of the Sixties - we don’t have this mentality anymore.

        • Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          My first thought as well.

    • kn33@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Clips of her concerts come up on my feed sometimes. Being (or playing being) horny is a part of her schtick.

      • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        Mine too.

        Checked out some of her music. It’s fun.

    • miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Something about Good Vibrations, I guess beach boy stuff maybe.

  • StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    Honestly, I love how she has managed to make such a brand out of reclaiming her sexuallity. I really hope that its her choice rather than her management. I bet she gets some particularly nightmarish fans.

  • Optional@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Oh . . Ohhhyyyeah right! Her! Ha ha. Because of the thing. She, uh, . . . did?

  • cdf12345@lemm.ee
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    Onion really taking their shots at Sabrina this week

    • theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world
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      I’m reading this as making fun of the people who are mad about a pop singer expressing sexuality.

      • Eyck_of_denesle@lemmy.zip
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        Expressing her minor fans sexuality too apparently

      • Maeve@kbin.earth
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        Yes, with a shout-out to Rosemary Kennedy.

        • theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          :(

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